a dead room

dear you,

i was sitting alone in a dead room. ya know, when the air doesn't move and the only sounds you hear are the breaths you breathe. anyway. i sat upright, with my hands draped over the keys, and my foot on the pedal. i played through the songs that i'd be singing later that night, familiarizing myself with the notes and melodies. as i finished, i realized that i was longing for more words to sing, more notes to play. so i sat... and i sat... and i sat.

suddenly, i began to play the notes and sing the words to one of the songs for later in the evening. but the tune wasn't the same. the feeling wasn't the same. the mindset wasn't the same. i closed my eyes and let my fingers play amongst the narrow rectangles. i breathed deeply and let my voice fill the silence that surrounded me. two, five, seven minutes passed. i opened my eyes and felt an unbelievable sense of peace moving throughout me.

that's when i knew. i finally experienced true worship through song.

the evening came quickly, the sun finally settled, but the heat carried on. before i knew it i was standing in front of 110 youth and young adults from seven area churches, leading them in worship. but this time, it was different. i wasn't worried about playing or singing the right notes. i wasn't distracted by people entering and exiting the space. i wasn't overwhelmed by the heat that flooded through the open windows. i was thinking, praying, feeling every single note and word that came through my mouth.

i left tuggeranong baptist church feeling energized and exhausted. sweaty and chilly. quenched and thirsty. new and old. i left knowing that this was a turning point in my spiritual journey and that finally--finally-- i had experienced what it was like to truly enter, and lead, a time of musical worship.

sincerely,
shae